6 Types of Bullying Your Child Might Encounter

From physical attacks to verbal harassment to cyberbullying, learn how to identify the six most common types of bullying and help your kid through them.

Most parents are familiar with the stereotypical schoolyard bully who pushes and shoves other kids on the playground, but physical bullying is only one type. Bullying can actually take many other forms, including verbal, relational, cyberbullying, sexual, and prejudicial.

Although some school administrators and teachers are doing more to deal with bullying, it's still important to recognize the different types and know how to respond. Approaching bullying in the right way can empower your kids to take back their power and regain their self-confidence after being targeted.

Here's how to recognize the six different types of bullying and how to deal with each one.

Little boy sitting alone on floor after suffering an act of bullying while children run in the background

Getty Images / Ridofranz

What Is Bullying?

Bullying is a common type of aggression impacting as many as 22% of kids between the ages of 12 and 18. During a bullying incident, one person exerts their power over another person in an attempt to control them. They may use physical force, cruel words, or other more insidious actions to maintain their power in the situation. Some examples of these tactics include intimidation, humiliation, embarrassment, exclusion, threats, and more.

Bullying almost always involves a power imbalance where one person has more power than another due to an advantage such as being bigger, being more well-liked, or having more authority. It's also not characterized as a one-time incident, but rather it follows a pattern of behavior. In other words, someone who bullies another person will target the same person repeatedly.

How Do Different Types of Bullying Affect Kids?

Young people who are bullied can experience a wide range of consequences, ranging from physical injuries to psychological effects. Even their grades can suffer when they're bullied. What's more, bullying is a risk factor for depression and anxiety, self-harm, suicide ideation, and substance abuse. For this reason, it's important to be able to recognize the different types of bullying and know when your child may be at risk.

Verbal Bullying

Verbal bullying, or bullying with cruel words, involves ongoing name-calling, threatening, and making disrespectful comments about someone's attributes such as their appearance, beliefs, disability, and more.

Example: When one child says to another child, "You're really ugly, and so is your mom," this is an example of verbal bullying. Making fun of someone's clothes, hairstyle, intellect, stature, or gait are also examples.

How to Spot the Signs: Children may withdraw, become moody, or show a change in appetite. They may tell you something hurtful that someone said about them and ask if you think it's true. Older teens may say they're experiencing a lot of drama at school but not go into specifics, while others say nothing at all.

What to Do: First, teach your kids about respect. Through your own behavior, reinforce how everyone deserves to be treated—thank teachers, praise friends, and be kind to store employees. Stress self-respect, and help your kids appreciate their strengths.

"The best protection parents can offer is to foster their child's confidence and independence and to be willing to take action when needed," says Shane Jimerson, PhD, a school psychologist and professor at the University of California, Santa Barbara.

Also, discuss safe, constructive ways your child can respond to a bully. Brainstorm key phrases to say in a firm (but not antagonistic) tone, such as "Leave me alone," or "Back off." Ignoring verbal bullying is another way kids can approach it. Remember, bullies are looking for a reaction, so not giving them one makes their taunting fall flat.

Physical Bullying

Physical bullying, or bullying with aggressive physical intimidation, involves repeated hitting, kicking, tripping, blocking, pushing, punching, and touching in inappropriate and harmful ways.

Example: A child who gets their pants pulled down on the playground at lunchtime is being physically bullied, as is the child who gets food thrown at them or who is pushed into their lockers as someone passes by them. Being shoved, tripped, and blocked also are examples.

How to Spot the Signs: Many children don't tell their parents when bullying happens, so watch for possible warning signs like unexplained cuts, scratches, or bruises. Other potential signs include missing or damaged clothes or frequent complaints of headaches and stomachaches.

What to Do: If you suspect your child is being physically bullied, start a casual conversation—ask what's going on at school, during lunch or recess, or on the way home. Based on the responses, ask if anyone has been mean to them, but try to keep your emotions in check. Emphasize the value of open, ongoing communication with you and with teachers or school counselors.

Document the dates and times of bullying incidents, the responses from people involved, and any actions taken. Don't contact the parents of the bully (or bullies) to resolve matters on your own. If your child continues to be physically hurt, and you need additional assistance beyond the school, contact local law enforcement. There are local, state, and federal anti-bullying and harassment laws that require prompt corrective action.

Relational Bullying

Relational bullying, sometimes called emotional bullying or social bullying, involves deliberately sabotaging a person's social standing. While the most recognized form of relational bullying involves preventing someone from joining or being part of a group, it can also include rumor spreading, sharing confidential information, and manipulating situations.

Example: When a group of teens talk about a weekend sleepover and make plans in front of an uninvited teen, with the intent of ostracizing and excluding this person, it represents relational bullying. Other examples include spreading false information or pressuring someone to do something to remain part of the group.

How to Spot the Signs: Watch for mood changes, withdrawal from peer groups, and a shift toward being alone more than usual. Kids also may display feelings of inadequacy or indicate that they have no friends. You also may notice that their friendships may be unhealthy or that they're being treated disrespectfully.

What to Do: Every night, talk with your kids about how their day went. Help them find things that make them happy, point out their positive qualities, and make sure they know people love and care about them.

Also focus on developing their talents and interests in music, arts, athletics, reading, and after-school activities so your kids build relationships outside of school. Encouraging them to expand their friend group based on their interests will help offset the relational aggression they're experiencing.

That said, if it continues and is impacting their mental health or their ability to do well in school, let the teachers or administrators know what's happening. Just remember that the ability to identify relational aggression is extremely difficult and the school may be limited in what they can do.

Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying, or online bullying, involves haranguing someone by spreading mean words, lies, and false rumors through e-mails, text messages, and social media posts. These messages create a hostile atmosphere, even when not directly targeting your child.

Example: When someone tweets or posts, "Kayden is a total loser. Why is anyone hanging out with them?" that's a form of cyberbullying. Cyberbullying also can include posting false information, private photos, or compromising information about another person.

How to Spot the Signs: If your child is experiencing cyberbullying, they might spend more time online (visiting social media pages or texting) but appear sad and anxious afterward. This indicates they might be reading painful things on their computer, tablet, or phone. Also, take note if they have trouble sleeping, beg to stay home from school, or withdraw from activities they once loved.

What to Do: Mean messages can be distributed anonymously and quickly, leading to 24/7 cyberbullying, so first establish household rules for internet safety. Agree on age-appropriate time limits and become familiar with the popular and potentially abusive sites, apps, and digital devices kids are using. Encourage your kids to let you know if they experience cyberbullying. They also shouldn't engage, respond, or forward it.

Instead, they should inform you so you can print out the offending messages, including the dates and times when they were received. Once documentation is secured, block the person or people from your child's account but refrain from taking away your child's phone or social media accounts. Social media and texting may be their only social outlet. Report cyberbullying to the school and the online service provider. If the cyberbullying escalates to include threats and sexually explicit messages, also contact local law enforcement.

Sexual Bullying

When someone sexually bullies another person, they often use harmful words, gestures, or actions that are sexual in nature. This includes name-calling and sexual jokes, as well as sexual harassment or propositioning. Even forcing someone to look at something pornographic at school can be a form of sexual bullying.

Example: Making a crude comment about another person's sexual activity, such as accusing them of sleeping around, is an example of sexual bullying in teens. Repeatedly commenting on a person's physical development, such as the emergence of breasts in puberty, is also an example of sexual bullying.

How to Spot the Signs: Young people who experience sexual bullying may be afraid to go to school or other activities. They may feel angry, depressed, or scared. It's also not uncommon for them to have trouble sleeping or eating. You might notice changes in their appearance, including not wanting to shower or choosing loose or baggy clothing. These choices can have to do with feeling ashamed or embarrassed of their body, or they may be trying to hide their body or make it appear different in some way.

What to Do: Sexual bullying requires immediate intervention because of the risk of escalation into more serious acts like sexual assault. Many times, sexual bullying is considered a form of sexual harassment, which violates civil laws. Not only should it be reported to the school, but it also may need to be reported to law enforcement. Keep documentation of what happened, when it happened, and if any action was taken.

You also should consider reaching out to a mental health professional. Being sexually bullied or harassed can leave a significant mark on a person's self-esteem and can even lead to self-harming behaviors.

Prejudicial Bullying

Prejudicial bullying is based on beliefs or opinions that kids have about a person's race or religion. It can also involve bullying that's rooted in negative views about a young person's sexual orientation.

Example: Prejudicial bullying is characterized by attacks on a person's identity and can involve name-calling (verbal bullying), physical abuse, relational aggression, and cyberbullying. It can even spill over into sexual bullying. In extreme cases, this type of bullying can escalate to hate crimes.

How to Spot the Signs: Research indicates that young people who are bullied because of their sexual orientation can contemplate suicide. They have lower self-esteem and more significant symptoms of depression and anxiety. Not only could they express concern that no one likes them or understands them, but they may report extreme loneliness and isolation. The same is true for kids who are bullied because of their race or religion. And though research is limited, experts estimate that Black and Hispanic kids who are bullied are more likely to experience academic difficulties.

What to Do: If your child is targeted by prejudicial bullying, start by reassuring them that they're loved and supported unconditionally. Remind them that they have people in their lives who truly care about them.

From there, you should document all the incidents and report them to both the school and law enforcement. Even if the police can't do anything at first, it's good to establish a pattern of behavior and have what's happening to your child on record.

You also can submit a complaint to the U.S. Department of Justice or the U.S. Department of Education. Remember, your child is entitled to a safe learning environment, and this type of bullying needs to be addressed immediately—especially because it can escalate into more dangerous, and even criminal, acts.

Key Takeaway

If your child approaches you about bullying, be supportive, praise their courage for telling you, and gather information (without getting angry or accusatory). Then take action against the bullying, especially if it becomes severe or persistent, by contacting your child's teacher or principal to intervene. The goal is to provide a safe learning environment for your child. In some cases, you may need to get outside help from law enforcement or government entities, especially if a crime was committed. Mental health professionals also may be needed to initiate the healing process.

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Sources
Parents uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
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  3. Consequences of Bullying. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Stop Bullying. 2018.

  4. Student reports of bullying: Results from the 2017 School Crime Supplement to the National Crime Victimization Survey. U.S. Department of Education. 2017.

  5. Relational Aggression, Victimization, and Self-Concept: Testing Pathways From Middle Childhood to AdolescenceJ Youth Adolesc. 2016.

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  7. Sexual Harassment. Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN). 2023.

  8. Bullying Among Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender YouthPediatr Clin North Am. 2016.

  9. Effects of Sexual Orientation-Based Bullying on Feelings of Loneliness and Sleeping Difficulty Among Brazilian Middle School StudentsJornal de Pediatria. 2021

  10. Race, Ethnicity, National Origin, and Religion. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Stop Bullying. 2021.

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